Tuesday, September 14, 2010

all you can jet 2 - day 8 - washington DC

the red-eye from DEN crushed me ... i had trouble falling asleep on the plane and am dead on my feet as i meet my accomplice in JFK ... i'm so far gone, in fact, that i stretch out and sleep on the floor of the terminal waiting for the connection to washington DC.

we're headed to bogota, colombia, but the flight schedules are such that the jump from DEN to BOG isn't easy and essentially forces an E coast stay-over.  BOS, JFK and washington DC are all possibilities ... we've got a BOS one-nighter later in the trip and my accomplice has just been there, so that's out ... NYC is always interesting, but we're relying heavily on family crypto (as always) so that doesn't seem like a great idea ...

DC, however has a two good friends that're both worth a visit.

one is mini-mario (MM). i rode across the US on my bike with him a decade ago ... pushing, probably 350 pounds, he was the true anomaly among the riders.  shunned, or openly laughed at by the hammer heads of the ride i had a huge amount of admiration -bordering on awe- for him.  it's one thing to ride 3200 miles in an el nino year if you're 170 pounds, in shape, and riding a $3000 road bike; it's quite another if you're twice that and on an upright that's a step above a huffy.

a greek national and obsessive fan of strip clubs (a place i've never been -- although i live in vegas) we struck up a friendship.  the absolute high point of the ride was when he asked if he could ride into DC -his home- with me on the last day.  i still consider that to be a huge honor.  (and, let's face it, the ride was not without high points -- like the bear chewing on the head of that mennonite kid, for example).

a few days after my birthday this year, mini mario gave me a ring -- insisting that if AYCJ happened, that i stay at his place.  so we'll be doing that.

d4rw1n is here too.  high powered international trade lawyer (and devoted reader of this 'blog), he's may well hold the highest (person i like to see) / (amount of time i actually see them) factor of anyone i know.  we've got lunch with him -- assuming i'm sentient.

we fly in.  get a fucking expensive rental car (cheapest thing i can find is $85/day) and head to d4rw1n's office ... he works right next door to the FBI and i park at what may well be the best parking meter view in the US.  i swear to you i took these shots leaning against the parking meter -- 180 opposite from each other.



d4rw1n's in high spirits -- as well he should be for divorcing his hellion wife and having a new spinner girlfriend.  we stop by his office:


and i'm just a little under-impressed.  is it a nice office?  yes.  is it the kind of place where you rule the world and have minions do your bidding?  no.  let's face it, when you're an international trade lawyer, and you spend the majority of your time checking the work of the people who work for you, that's essentially what you are: a world-ruling-minion-barking kind of guy.

"pinhole" for extra effect here
the view from the balcony of the conference room has the right idea, though ... let's look at a mural of the world with DC as the center and everyone else an also-ran ... and the place itself is a powerful room.  US$1000 chairs around a $50k table.  it's not the kind of place where you talk about what's right and what's wrong.  it's the kind of place that just screams "do what we say or we'll CRUSH you!"  and then whispers, "and don't spill anything because i need to have sex with my secretary on here afterward."

lunch is great.  we hit a local cuban place.


i have a cubano with chips (something very very close to taro, but i can't remember the name -- i'd never heard it before), washed down with an excellent limeade.  my accomplice has a fancy version of a grilled cheese sandwich and d4rw1n tries, to get them to re-create a sandwich they used to have on their menu; but fails when they think he's not actually an important guy.

i'm so tired i'm flickering in and out of consciousness through the meal.  fortunately the conversation is strong -as it always is with d4rw1n- and when the meal ends we get back to the super scenic parking meter our two hours lapse just i fire up the ignition.

a quick drive to baltimore brings us to the building that MM owns.  this is one of those urban areas that's fighting to get some life back in it.  MM's place is only half  a block from lexington market -- once a cultural hub and center it's now become more inner-city compressed.  under heavy fatigue i declare it as "a one-time town center that's now become a place where koreans sell food to blacks."  MM refers to it as "the building that time forgot."

as MM shows us around his place (he owns the entire building -- maybe eight units or so) we get to a point where we overlook the next door neighbors ... the building has burned -but is covered- and scores of cats now inhabit the place.  you can see the wheels in mario's head spin as he looks -- he clearly would like to own the place and bounces the idea of me possibly buying-in just to see how the concept tracks.

throughout the mario mansion he's has added touches of grandess.  forever haggling with home depot and lowe's to get outrageous deals on everything from appliances to door knobs; he's built everything up for pennies on the dollar.  the building, and all the things inside, look really nice -- it's clear that no matter what happens he's going to do very well here.

if the neighborhood picks up -and my guess is it will- he'll make a killing.  very very impressive for a greek immigrant, who probably started off speaking no english, and put his foot in the economic door by running a falafel joint in the basement of a post office.

mario gives us some bonus coins (of course) for the laundry he owns and bids us farewell.

my accomplice immediately crashes hard and i follow suit after getting some laundry detergent at the market across the street (but forgetting to actually start the wash once i do).

we sleep for 16 hours.  i don't move an inch the entire time.